Disguise

Like usually, we dawned in the same bed; spilled in the same space, sticked by glue. We obstructed and made each other feel uncomfortable. Our routine had been surprised by a beautiful girl. She was lying down wearing just panties, hugging the pillow and taking off all my sheet part. I had a headache, it felt like a woodcutter had hit on my head with an axe. I had a sore throat like I had drunk a pitcher of nails. I woke up and walked straight to the bathroom; the lavatory was staff up and the bath smelled like vomit; half pieces of cigarettes had been left all over the floor at the bathroom; parts of the curtains had been burned. When I went back to the bedroom I looked her face to help my fragile memory; I needed to complete my mental puzzle of last night. It was useful, nothing fitted properly; I couldn’t remind anything.
Today it’s going to be those sharps days when I walk dragging my eyes, pretending simulate looking for something: such as house keys or money, just to avoid known people. I hate that impact. When I see them coming to me I cross to the next path or pretend dialing my celphone. That kind of act I called simulate avoid, I make use of it when I’m cooking insane ideas omelet in my mind, when I have thoughts attacks and I don’t want that anyone knows about it. I also hate when everybody asks me, what’s the matter with you? I’m sure they don’t really care about me. They just want to feed their morbidness with my misfortunes. I don’t like to explain my change of mood, that’s all, is anything wrong about it? Anyway, they won’t understand my obsessions and I don’t give a crap.
While I was washing my teeth I saw him; he was standing there, in front of me, trembling and dressed up different. I’m telling you, I’m not lying! It was him, the same thing that I see all days.
I think that other one could get fear, but not me. I’m getting used to him. I know it’s not common that people live with an alien in a small house, but that’s my reality. I have an alien living with me. It’s normal to see him walking all over the house dressed up like a person. I also see him on the cars windows, in front of the stores, on the water and other places. He is a weird company; I don’t feel alone with him but neither accompanied. How can I complaint about him? He is there because of me. It’s my fault! But it’s too late to punish myself. I should work on his acceptation. Look; I can’t throw him out of my life because his presence makes me feel uncomfortable, that’s not a reason. It is more complicate than you think. Let me explain to you; would you rip off your own nails and hair because they make you feel uncomfortable? In case you do, they would grow up again. Did I mention the pain? It would be irrationally painful. That’s why I don’t considerate it as an option. I think it’s easier to accept him than rip him off my life. I should try to get used to him, soak him up, and fuse myself with this weird uncomfortable being. Probably accept him means stop looking him like an intruder; even his extremely freaks disguises. The apparently solution could be make it up, learn from him and try to coexist together in harmony.
It’s not easy to live in a same house with an alien. Do you understand what I’m trying to say? He scares me; it’s not common to get up in the morning and find him lying down in the same bed, in the same vital space. His figure bothers me.
To be honest I’m quite sure that he understands me a little bit. He is not like the others aliens, I’m not saying that I know others aliens, I’m just saying that this is an abnormal one. How many aliens love dressing up like a human being? This one changes his disguise four or five times a day. His favorites disguises are: normal person, child, mature man, old man, Buddhist, catholic, hermit, intellectual boy, materialistic, adventurous, gigolo, hippie, altruist, animal, vegetal, ameba, insect and others one. We are together twenty-five years, but we unknown each other about fifteen. I can’t deny that on the last three months I have find out more than those years multiply by one hundred. I have known the deepness complexity of his soul.
In my opinion this alien is very incoherent; he is not a trapeze artist but he walk on the tightrope without protection. I’m telling you, he is not a bad alien! He is just weird. I know what you are thinking on now; you are thinking that I’m crazy. Well, I have good news for you; I’m not. For one second try to put you in my place, I’m the only one who knows that he is an alien dressed up like a human. It’s not fear; everybody thinks that he is a person. Stupid alien! He thinks that he is smart, but he is not! I can recognize him, doesn’t matter how good his disguise is. When I get used of his appearance, he changes it again.
I need your trust; come on trust me! I will prove it to you! I will find the place where he hides all the heads, wigs, arms, chests and legs. I swear by the earth and the sun, when I find it, I’ll show them to you.
How would you feel to sleep with an alien? I feel like a freaky promiscuous little bastard!
Sometimes I look at him but I can´t see anything, I hear him talking to me but I can’t listen, I feel his skin but can’t touch him, like an intangible ghost.
That morning there was a deathly silence. I woke up very early because I couldn’t sleep well, when I was getting asleep he touch my mind and didn’t live me alone. I woke up to have a friendly conversation to him.
–Hello, how are you doing? - I didn’t have an answer. Probably he didn’t hear me, I tried one more time.
– Good morning mister alien, did you rest well? – He didn’t response my question.
– Are you ok? How is your life? - I asked him again but there were no answer. I got mad because of his silence.
– Why don’t you answer me? Did I make something wrong? I know that you are there, I can see you! Why do you try to hide of me? There is no reason to hide. Listen to me, you are a messy alien, we can’t live together anymore. I need some rest; I need to be alone, and… Can you understand me? Answer me stupid alien! - He didn’t say a word; he just looked at me and was quiet.
– Are you judging me? How come? Could you please stop? I hate when you do that. You start to judge me, you condemn me because of my behavior, and you love to do the same staffs that I do: you love parties, alcohol, girls and others excess. You are just like me, you lie to yourself. You can’t stand be alone because it makes you remind the empty loneliness. Don’t be affray I’m with you on this. We feel the same loneliness; we need to love someone, to see other people and to split up. I need to lose you and you need to lose me to be happy. Did you listen what I’ve just say? Leave me alone!...
Now you know why I hate this alien. I’ve got others reason but I don’t feel like telling you.
Have you ever felt like me? Feel that the real world is too real and hard to understand? Have you ever feel like a completely stranger? Like an alien? Sometimes I do. Sometimes I look at me but I can’t see me, I hear my talking but I can’t listen to me, I feel my skin but can’t touch me. I live with an alien, that alien is me. I hate those days when I’m a strange to myself.